Not Another Akatsuki Cat Story
by Princess Kaminari of the Sand
Summary: Yeah, this is now the mainstream. Hey, kittens are adorable. Besides, with an epic OC like Echo, what can go wrong? OC/Sasori Rated T for Hidan's dirty mouth and some content that is only revealed in romance fics. c;


**Yesh, I have now joined the mainstream. x_x**

**Leggo~**

**Who knows, I might actually upload chapters to this. Actually, if you've read my other fanfics, I am quite the League of Legends addict. I, however, miraculously quit simply for fanficion. Love you guuuuys.**

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"Nobody understands me!" I heard myself scream. "I hate all of you!" Storming up to my room. Running up the stairs. Running, running, footsteps, footsteps. Open door. Slam door shut. Sit on bed. Giggle.

I blinked, staring at my Akatsuki poster. Another fake tantrum. Maybe this time, Clarence would let me live with Jenny. I narrowed my eyes. I didn't feel mad, not really. I didn't mean anything I said, I never did. All I wanted to do was leave my somewhat abusive mother and go live with my other one.

At least staring at my Naruto merchandise helped me. Having two mothers was overwhelming, and pretending I was a brave kunoichi fighting for the Akatsuki cleared my mind. Two mothers.. Clarence, the one who was on the receiving end of my fake teenage pain a minute ago. I hated her. Ever since she divorced Jenny, she acted totally homophobic.

Jenny, my other mom. The one who attended Gay Pride marches and had a no-judge policy. The one who baked me cookies without giving me lectures on calories, the one who would watch Naruto marathons with me and comment on how she would totally date Konan.

But let's not forget the somewhat complicated situation I put myself into. Clarence had a boyfriend, and boy, was he a bastard. Of course, I'd voiced my opinions a few times, hoping that my insults would be enough to let me go live with Jenny, but no luck at all. Clarence was determined to keep me with her, to "set me straight", as she'd put it.

Clarence playing God was the reason I was so eager for the weekends, where I would pack my bags and head over to Jenny's place. Naturally, weekends weren't satisfying enough, but one learns to live with it. Now my goal was to move out entirely, because on top of Clarence and her boyfriend, there was the fact that I couldn't stand the way everyone at my school would whisper snarky remarks about my mothers when they thought I wasn't listening.

I didn't mind mean comments about Clarence; she deserved them, in my opinion. But Jenny would get the meanest remarks out of the two, people saying how she was gay trash and couldn't raise me properly. I got into plenty of fights in attempt to preserve my mother's dignity, marking me as a delinquent, which was unfair.

I kept my grades as perfect as I could, because Jenny always reminded me that a ninja would have to be intelligent and remain successful in all areas. I respected my teachers, because Jenny would say respect was given and not expected. Come to think of it, I would obey Jenny all the time. It wasn't because I was big on playing favorite, but because she made everything a big adventure.

With her, everything was a top-secret mission, like completing my algebra homework in thirty minutes or less. If I failed, she'd make me write a poem on the horrors of Konan's death, who she was totally in love with. Similarly to my love for Deidara and Sasori. Darn, I could never choose who I liked better.

Thudding footsteps alerted me, and my thoughts quickly vaporized.

"Honestly, child." My door was flung open. "I thought you knew better than to yell at me. I know what you're up to." Clarence stomped into my room. Um, hi..?

"What I'm up to?" I pretended to be upset. "I hate you. I hate Bob. I mean, his name is _Bob_, for God's sake! I hate this town. I hate all of you."

"Shut up!" Clarence yelled, her black, graying hair flew in the air as she shook her head. "You know nothing! You're only a stupid teenager! Now stop overreacting and start being appreciative of everything I do for you!"

I sighed mentally. Did I really have to fake a second tantrum? I prepared my poisonous words and plastered on a sneer. "Everything you do for me? What have you done for me besides what's legally necessary? I work part-time for my own stuff! And you? You leech off of Bob, because you're too damn lazy to get out there and work for yourself!"

"I will hear no more of this! Get out of my house!" Clarence looked really mad. I glared, bared my teeth, and stomped downstairs and out the door. Once I was outside, I burst into laughter.

"Man, she really takes me seriously." I chortled, walking down the sidewalk and off to nowhere specific. "I always knew I was an amazing actress."

More walking. _Down to where?_

A sigh escaped my lips before I could repress it. Pretending to fight with Clarence was tiring. I just wanted it to be peaceful, where nobody would sneer at my mother's sexuality, where nobody would give me a hard time for being me. I grinned, thinking about how much easier it would be if the Akatsuki would be here. Jenny and I could fangirl to our heart's content.

I finally looked up, just to see where my feet had led me. Not surprisingly, I managed to find myself in front of an empty park. Parks were fun. They were full of places where you could play ninja. There was nothing else to do, so the best option seemed to be to plop myself down on a swing and just stare off into the distance like a zombie.

As I sat down on the cold surface, I heard a _meow_. I froze, and strained my ears to make sure I wasn't imagining the noise. After a second, another _meow_ reached me over the wind. A chorus of mewing started up, and I quickly walked toward the noise. Of course I'd be interested to see what fate had in store for me.

A few seconds later, I bent down under a slide to see about a dozen or so kittens huddled together, shivering against the cold air. At first, worry crept over me, fearing they would be afraid and run. But they merely stared at me with their inquisitive eyes, one of them occasionally meowing.

When I saw they weren't going to flee, I took off my thick, black sweater and lay it on the ground.

"Alright, guys. You're probably freezing." I spoke softly, feeling the icy wind beat against my skin. Darn this thin Akatsuki t-shirt. I felt myself start to shiver, and gave the kittens a hard look. "Go on, there's room for everyone, and I'm not planning to freeze out here."

All the kitten's gazes turned to the cat with purple eyes. He nodded, and they padded forward, whiskers twitching. As they settled themselves into my sweater, I took notice of the peculiar colors of their pelts. Jenny was a vet, and from what I knew, purple and blue felines were quite.. Uncommon. I ignored this interesting observation for the time being; the health of each kitten was more important than their fur color.

Unfortunately for me, it was Monday, which means I wouldn't be able to get to Jenny to give them a check up until Friday evening. Not to mention that Clarence hated animals with a passion.

"Well, everyone," I stood with all the mewing kits in my arms. "I guess I'll have to keep you hidden for a few days. Can you be good and keep yourselves hidden?"

Each kitten nodded, and refused to take their eyes off me.

"What's wrong with me?" I groaned as I walked home. "Sneaking in so many of you.. It's hard to keep track of one animal, not to mention ten.."

The walk home left me battered by the weather's harsh conditions. In my faux rage when I left the house, I never anticipated it to be so chilly. When I reached Clarence's house, I was tempted to go through the front door, but all it took was one_ meow_ to remind me that I was on a secret mission.

"Right." I muttered. "Through the back door we go."

The back door was closer to the staircase leading to my room anyways, so I crept up the stairs, past Clarence, who was watching TV with Bob. Stupid Bob. Adrenaline rushed through me as I tip-toed around the second floor, doing my best not to make any noise. Apparently, the kittens could sense the tension, and kept quiet.

I winced as the door to my room creaked, but locked it and set the kittens down on my bed, staring at every one of them. I thought there was something familiar about them, and a glance at my Akatsuki poster told me what.

"Omigosh.." I grinned. "It feels like I'm in an Akatsuki cat-fic." Thinking that evoked a squeal out of me. "I suppose I should get to the naming process, eh?"

_Meow._ I already knew what I was going to name everyone. I pointed to them as I announced their names, hoping they'd catch on.

"Deidara." Blonde one with fluffy tail. "Sasori." Soft, red one with chocolate brown eyes. "Kisame." Blue one with a menacing look in his eyes. "Itachi." Black kitten with the reddish eyes. "Kakuzu." Interesting kitten with the stitch-like markings in its fur. "Hidan." White one who looked like he wanted to kill me. "Tobi." Kitten who was absently chewing on his long tail. "Zetsu." Half-black, half-white one. "Pein." The one with the really cool purple eyes. "And last but not least, Konan." Purple kitten with the large, innocent eyes.

"Aw, you guys are so cute!" I squeaked happily. "I'm Echo. Pleased to meet you!"

The cats, in turn, nodded respectfully. After a moment of looking at the cats, I decided, "You guys need a bath." Their eyes widened, and I thought their horror was adorable. "Now don't be like that." I said sternly. "A clean cat is a happy cat."

Reluctantly, Konan the Kitten stepped towards me. "So you wanna go first, Konan?" I stroked her as she snuggled into my arms. "You guys should follow Konan's example and be a good kitten."

I went off into the bathroom, and set Konan down by my sink. "Don't worry, you have nothing to be afraid of," I soothed. "First, I'll wipe you down with a wet rag so you can get used to the water, okay?" Konan nodded warily. I grabbed a towel, and ran it under warm water before wiping down Konan's shoulders. Before I could continue, Konan the Kitten disappeared spontaneously, and in front of me, sitting elegantly on my sink, was the_ actual_ Konan.

"I suppose I can trust you not to scream?" she asked worriedly. I slowly nodded my head, trying to control the perverted nosebleed I knew I was going to get. A naked Konan, right in front of me. Jenny would kill for this moment.

"Um.." I breathed, trying to think straight. No, I wasn't a lesbian, but I knew attractive when I saw it. "I'll go get you some clothing."

The purple-haired woman nodded her head, and I dashed into my room, pulling out clothes from my closet with ferocity. I couldn't let Konan wear just anything, no way. She needed to look as dazzling as she always does.

Behind me, curious meows erupted from the group. I glanced behind me before realizing that each kitten was.. Omigosh..

Before I could faint, I smacked myself as hard as I could and ran into the bathroom, arms full of clothes. "You can.. Um.. Get dressed. I'll turn everyone else back into human form." I murmured, and dizzily walked into my bedroom.

My head was swimming with questions and excitement. What were the chances of me getting charged with rape and disorderly conduct in this situation?

"So.." I began slowly as Konan walked out of the bathroom. The kittens shot her jealous looks. "You guys.. Are.."

"The Akatsuki." Konan finished for me. "And we appreciate the amount of.." She looked around my room. "Support you have for us."

I blushed, suddenly embarrassed about all my Akatsuki posters. I mean, did they really need to see the shirtless Deidara one? Or the_ I LOVE KISAME_ sign?

"Let's get you guys turned back." I turned towards the kittens. "Just.. Please don't kill me.. I'd rather live, you know?"

Pein-kitty nodded curtly, and hopped off my bed. I guess he was next.

One hour later, every Akatsuki member was turned into a human, except Tobi, of course. He didn't deserve to be human. He was the scum of the earth, no matter what.

"So this is where you all explain to me what on earth happened to you guys." I stated flatly. "In most fanfiction, you guys were tricked by a dumbass jutsu created by the Leaf. Please tell me otherwise."

The Akatsuki looked down guiltily.

"But.. They had cake, hm." Deidara pointed out meekly. "We didn't know it would morph us into kittens!"

"And that stupid fucking jutsu of theirs that teleported us here? Bullshit, I tell you, fucking bullshit." Hidan chimed in angrily. "Dumbass Sasori couldn't kill Chiyo when they were fighting, and now that hag sent us here. Bullshit."

"Hey, at least Sasori is alive." I growled, turning into a chibi with extremely dark aura surrounding me.

"Sasori my man, it's good to see you living." Deidara said sarcastically. "Hm."

"Shut up, brat." Sasori scowled, his red hair framing his face in a beautiful way that no other could possibly-

"Woah, look, she's dying or something." Kisame pointed to me. I giggled nervously, tearing my eyes away from Sasori.

"Fool!" I stuck my nose up in the air. "I do not die."

"Let's fucking test that out in the name of Jashin-sama!" Hidan grinned evilly.

"Sasori-sempai save me!" I squealed and jumped behind him.

"Get away from me, brat." Sasori scowled.

"Konan, Sasori-sempai is being mean to me!" I whimpered, sticking out my bottom lip and making my eyes water. "Tell him to stop.."

"Sasori, be nice to Echo. She's taking good care of us." Konan chided calmly, happy to oblige to my request.

"Yeah, Sasori." I stuck my tongue out, gleeful at the fact that I could be myself around the criminals. No more fake tantrums or acting moody for me! "Be nice to me." I hugged Sasori as tightly as I could, which didn't say much, but whatever.

"Getting intimate already?" Kisame sniggered.

"Sasori-sempai is my puppet." I glared and pouted. "Mine."

"Am not, brat."

"Are too! Konan, agree with me!" I shot Konan a despairing look. With a smile she nodded her head.

"See, the coolest person in the world has taken my side." I glomped Sasori and inwardly fangirled. "There's no escape for you now, my love."

"Why did we have to get stuck with a bumbling idiot? Hm." Deidara sighed.

"B-but Deidei-chan, my prince.." I whimpered. "We're meant to be.."

"Echo." I turned to see Pein address me.

"Yes, sir?" I smiled at him, knowing he meant business.

"Your living conditions seem acceptable, and I must ask.. Would your guardians let us stay here? We need to find a way to return to our world peacefully, without other outside disruption." The orange-haired leader inquired.

I giggled nervously, rubbing my neck and trying to act casual. "Well, my er.. _mother_ may not be quite so happy to know you're here.. But.. At the same time, she doesn't really have to know."

"Ugh, more fucking stealth shit." Hidan complained.

"Not my fault Clarence is so damn uptight!" I shot back.

"Clarence.. That would be your mother, right?" Itachi spoke up.

I nodded, glaring at my carpet.

"It seems you don't like her very much."

"Well observed, Uchiha." I sighed, and flopped down on my bed. "But on the weekends I go to Jenny's house, and she'll be glad to have you."

"Jenny?" Pein said. "Your older sister?"

I giggled. "No, my other mom."

"So you have a step-mother?"

I didn't realize that lesbian parents were unusual for others. For me, it was just so natural. "No," I shook my head. "My mothers divorced each other."

"Ah, I see." Pein nodded. "In that case, we shall arrange to stay at your other mother's house."

I frowned. So the Akatsuki were going to stay at Jenny's house.. But I could only visit on the weekends. Clearly, this was cause for another fake tantrum to see if Clarence would finally let me go live with Jenny. If only I could come up with something so drastically horrible..

"What are you thinking, brat?" Sasori lay down on the bed with me, observing my ceiling.

"Thinking," I yawned. Sleepily, I poked the criminal. "I see you've taken interest in my ceiling."

"I see you've taken interest to sleeping."

"Quite right, Sasori." I let out another yawn. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sleep."

"Right now?" Kisame asked. "Aren't you going to explain this strange world to us?"

"Later, fish bait."

Truthfully, I wasn't quite a genius on how to house 9 criminals and a very stupid Tobi-cat.

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**Just to let you guys know.. I didn't have any time to edit because I'm way beyond my due date for another story or chappie. x_x**

**I can practically hear your frustrated screaming. I know. But I have SATS this week... And I have to bring my D up to a B in math in one week. Why? Because my mom is basically a second Clarence. ; - ;**

**Well, see y'all next time! ^^**

**-Princess Kaminari of the Sand**


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